That feeling of frustration when you’re so far from your business goal.
If I backtrack 5 or 6 years ago, I can still recall feeling so incredibly frustrated with myself. I felt like I’d been taking SO much action and yet my business results were far from what I expected them to be.
You know when you work hard for weeks, months or maybe even a whole year, and you expect to start seeing some fruits for your labour? But then you see NOTHING. Nada. Not even a bit of growth.
That can be demoralising.
And it’s exactly how it felt: left wondering where the reward was for all of my hard work.
In that moment, it can feel like everything you’ve been working towards and all of the effort you’ve been putting in has been for nothing.
A part of it is definitely ego-related. You want to have more business results because in some way you feel you need the validation.
Your mind is telling you that if you had bigger and better results by now that you would be perceived as a business success.
Instead, the lack of results you’re experiencing can make you feel like a failure.
A part of you feels like you should be BETTER than this. That somehow you should have figured this out by now.
And yet – the reality ? Shows that you’re not!
Looking back at that period in my business, I remember feeling really embarrassed. Embarrassed that I hadn’t been able to figure out the puzzle pieces of the entrepreneurship world.
My savings were dwindling. And my frustration was at an all-time high.
To add to all of that, I was worried about what other people would start thinking of me:
What would my parents think of me?
What about my friends?
What about my partner?
It’s hard when you have a certain picture in your mind of where you’d be…and yet you’re so far from the mark.
That feels infuriating.
Your expectations are far from being met.
And you start questioning your own worth and value.
I was worried that people that were close to me would start thinking things like:
She’s not smart enough to make this whole business thing really successful.
She’s not working hard enough or doing enough. She’s being lazy.
Maybe she’s just not good enough to make it in business.
It felt unfair for my mind to say that because I felt like I had been disciplined around my marketing and sales efforts. And working my butt off.
Most weekends, I was spending working. I hardly did anything leisure related at the time because I was focused on putting all of my attention on my business.
Also, I remember thinking: I’m doing the best I can! I don’t really know what else I could have done to increase my results.
If I did know, I would have been doing it!! That’s what my mind said.
Anyway, it created this feeling of helplessness.
Weariness is what I felt – fears as to how much longer it would take for that tipping point.
When is this actually going to happen for me?
Will I ever get there?
Why am I still not seeing any results?
What am I doing wrong?
Turns out that I wasn’t doing anything “wrong” per se. With hindsight, I can see that I just had to keep going.
Of course, at the time, I didn’t realise the patience it takes to grow a business.
With hindsight, I can now see that I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I just had to continue marketing and selling.
And let the compounding of my efforts create the results over time.
But yes, it did take longer than I ever expected it too.
As I was thinking about this experience in my own business, I thought it might be helpful to provide a few powerful journaling questions for other female business owners going through the same thing.
If you feel like you’re not as far as you’d like to be in business. Or if you just feel like your results are not showing up as quickly as you’d hoped they would…
I have a series of coaching questions that you can write the answers to that I wish I would have had back at that stage.
So here we go!
I’ve written out a few useful questions for you below to help you deal with this frustration and your lack of business results.
I recommend grabbing a pen and paper and jotting down anything and everything that comes to mind for you from these questions.
Remember not to overthink this. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just take a couple of minutes to write down anything that pops up.
Ok – let’s give this a go!
1) Given what I’m currently experiencing in business, who in my life or online might be a good guide to help me figure out what I should be doing differently?
2) Think of someone in your life (it could be online or offline) who you look up to in terms of how they live out their values. How would someone like that manage what you’re currently experiencing?
These perspective taking questions can be SO helpful in getting “out of your own head” and seeing your situation from a different perspective.
It creates some space between you and the problem you’ve been facing (not getting the business results you want).
Often, when we’re faced with a problem, we can get stuck looking at in the same way over and over again.
Sometimes, all we need is a fresh viewpoint. And we can get that by simply using our imagination.
Another few questions that may help you is to ask yourself:
3) What values does this person live by? How might living into these values yourself help you in your situation?
4) If this guide was looking at the way you’r running your business, what would they suggest you do?
5) What else might this hero or guide say to you that might surprise you?
6) If that person you’re thinking about was in your shoes, what would they see? What would they do right now?
Hopefully you can already see that by asking yourself these types of questions, you’re going to get some new perspectives.
Ideally, it’ll give you an aha moment where you can breakthrough to the next level in your business.
Perhaps, the biggest breakthrough you’ll get is being kind to yourself and giving yourself the time it takes to cross that finish line.
Sometimes, it’s just persistence. Nothing more, nothing less.
Just putting one foot in front of the other. And not quitting. Not giving up.
Before you know it, you’ll hit a tipping point and you’ll FINALLY get the results you’re hoping for.
You can do this. Just never ever give up until you get there.
I’d love to hear if this article resonated with you. Let me know in the comments.
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